What do you do when you can have everything?

What do you do when you can have everything?

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Rammstein - Du Hast

hah

consequence

I am going to seriously hurt someone’s feelings this weekend.

… That’s never fun.  Not even for a cold-hearted bitch like me.

little plastic bag

Doing laundry at my sister’s place,

she pulled clothes out of the dryer

and picked up a little bag that fell

A little plastic bag

with white residue in its corners.

My heart stopped.

It was not mine

and it was not hers.

It was the first solid evidence I’ve ever seen

that proves my dad is a user.

My entire life, I have always heard my dad is into drugs

I think he is one of the wisest people alive

but this hurts my respect for him.

She left the bag somewhere he would find it.

Hopefully he will see it, and feel the way we do when we see it.

He won’t stop using, I know this.  I’m not even asking for that.

But the emotions evoked by that little white bag should be recognized.

I felt embarrassed.  reminded.  ashamed.  sad.  annoyed.  burdened.  disappointed.

and I felt nothing.  I felt like laughing.

-

A couple years ago,

my mom found one of my little plastic bags

when she was cleaning my car.

She put a piece of my jewelry in it,

thinking that’s what it was there for.

lol

Cute and clueless.

That’s how I used to be.

Ridiculous.

Ridiculous.

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Red Red Wine - UB40

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